I haven’t posted for a while. There are always ‘reasons’ of course for not doing things we feel we need to do, ought to do, should be doing, etc and it’s definitely useful to check out those shoulds-musts-oughts. If you’ve been ill, or stupidly busy (with non-stupid activities) then give yourself a break. You’ll get back round to doing what you ‘should’ be doing. Sometimes deeper exploration is needed: we find that the SMO’s are not always genuinely ‘ours’, but inherited stuff from various earlier authority figures we can let go of now we are big grown-up people.
But sometimes we truly are not doing something we want to be doing… so then it’s time for the useful question of how come not? For me, not writing when I want to be, can be just laziness - which definitely needs challenging! But this time, writing for the Nemetona blog - or rather not writing for it - no, not laziness: there has been a psychic validity. And a geomorphic validity.
I have been unsettled in my own nemeton: although I love this wonderful geographical and geological area (and indeed the lovely town of Market Weighton itself) the practicalities of the four walls of my current rented place have not turned out how I expected. No need for the boring detail, but I’ve been negotiating with my landlord for some work to be done which is sadly unlikely to happen. I’m now facing a decision about living in what is likely to be a cold (or too expensive to heat) winter place - unsatisfactory in some other ways too - or to move yet again. Those of you who know me might think moving again is hardly an issue for me - I’ve been doing it regularly for a while now.
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| Rare habitat: Market Weighton's chalk stream |
But this move has been significantly different. I did - still do - feel this new geological landscape is where I want to be: it’s truly a ‘natural’ fit for me. Over and above all the places I’ve lived - including wonderful time in Scotland which contains some of the most ancient rocks on the planet, as well as most other known geological formations - I am loving the Cretaceous marine limestone of the Yorkshire Wolds. There’s something very wonderful about walking around on all those long dead sea creatures! Or maybe it’s to do with my own crumbling bones… I remember on the day I got my osteoporosis diagnosis wandering on the beach, picking up shells, and wondering about their formation and degradation…
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| Sand bones |
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| Tree bones |
I must chuckle though when I think of finding another place to rent… most letting agents are used to questions about proximity to facilities, or is there somewhere to park… much less so about is there a garden I can work, which way does the house face, and is it built on igneous, sedimentary or metamorphic rock!
So, that’s the geomorphic validity. As for the psychic, until this moment, I’ve allowed the uncertainty about where is my own personal indoor/outdoor nemeton to be to obstruct my work. I’ve been able to do some reframing around that with help from my daughter, who reminded me how often I’ve been a ‘guardian gardener’ rather than an owner gardener. And also help from a client of mine with whom I’ve worked for many years, and over many house moves, who reminded me about how well I create safe and sacred space wherever I happen to be living. And finally a reminder from myself about agency… that is, I still have some!
When I facilitate others, their work is so often about finding what resources they do have, especially when they feel they are resource-less. If I don’t stay here, I will find somewhere else… I’ve done it many times before. Nemeta can be created anywhere. Though I will still be looking to have those ancient sea creatures crunching under my feet.
