Whether you call it self-reflection, inner-vism, introspection (the formal psychological term) or just 'going inside', it's A Good Thing to do. Or rather not do, but be. Because this going inside, this 'being in your being' is not the same as chilling out, relaxing, or even formally meditating, because all of those activities, useful as they are, are still doing rather than simply being.
So yes, taking time out from anything you feel stressed by in your life to enjoy your favourite sports, or hobbies, or spend time around people with whom you feel relaxed, are all really helpful activities for improving mental health and sustaining general wellbeing.
I do remember though, all those years ago, the first time I was given this advice, I really didn't understand it. I understood neither how to do it, nor indeed the point of it. Surely I was 'more use' - whether as parent, teacher, or in my beginning days as a counsellor - getting on with the job in hand, doing the next best thing, rather than 'navel-gazing' as such inner work has often jokingly or even disparagingly been called. (Interestingly, omphaloskepsis is an ancient system of meditation...)
I remember on one of the earliest personal development workshops I ever attended, becoming emotional after a guided visualisation. We were lying on mats on the floor and the facilitator came and crouched beside me. I tried to stop crying, and sit up, but she pushed me back gently saying, "Just close your eyes again and stay still, stay inside. Stay inside". I scarcely knew what she meant, but did it anyway.
I remember too in the early days one of my mentors would always greet me the same way: "How are you?" he would ask. "I mean, how are you really, in your being?" Such a powerful question, and definitely not the usual oiling of social wheels 'how are you's' which mean so very little.
But over the years since then, as I've allowed myself to experience the inner nemeton more and more, I have learned how important it is - life-saving even - for myself and many others with whom I've worked, to step into that particular state of being. I have learned to trust it; to trust myself enough to enter it; and to find healing and growth. Try it for yourself is my suggestion: you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
And so to the how.
If it's something you've never done before, or have tried but feel you've 'failed' (you haven't), then start with a very short time period. If you think it's not going to be worth it, or feel you'll get impatient, or bored, and will want to Do Something, just try five minutes. Remember the worst scenario is this: with all the 437 things you have to do today - or could, surely, be more usefully doing - you'll just start them five minutes later than you would have done.
Ideally, it's nice to be out in nature somewhere, sitting under a tree or next to a stream, but you can also be at home, in your favourite chair, or stretched out on the floor. Even the car (parked up, of course!) is a good protected and enclosed little space.
You can, if you wish, acknowledge your 'being' space as a non-ordinary moment in time by having a totem object with you, or wearing a special item of clothing or piece of jewellery, lighting a candle perhaps, or simply making an intentional statement to yourself ("I'm taking five minutes to just be" for example), but none of this is essential. And if it makes you feel a bit silly, don't do it. Just take one conscious breath as you shift into your nemeton. The time will come when you are ready to acknowledge 'being in your being' more fully in whatever particular way becomes important to you.
Just sit for your five minutes, or longer (I prefer a week or so, but I've been doing this a while!) and allow the following to happen: allow whatever thoughts come to flow in and out of your mind without any judgement on whether you should or shouldn't be thinking such things. For this five minutes, there is absolutely nothing you should, or shouldn't, be doing, thinking, or feeling. Simply exist, just breathe, and think whatever you think, or if you have an empty mind, that's fine too. In fact, it's marvellous: serious meditators try for years to achieve such a state. But you are as free from the task of trying to empty your mind as you are from any other task: you are simply being.
If you feel you really cannot simply 'be', then do this: think intentionally about yourself and how, if you choose to continue with this 'being in your being' work over time, what it might mean for you; what changes might take place; how you might encourage and develop those changes. I'll say more about this in later posts.
Set a timer if you feel it will help you, and when time is up, just acknowledge the fact - undo any special thing you did to mark stepping into the inner nemeton, and get on with whatever you need to get on with. If you want to try this on more than one occasion it can be really helpful to keep a note of your experience. The note might be as mundane as "I couldn't stop thinking about X... and my left leg kept itching", but again, not essential. You've taken the first step towards being in your being, and to honouring that sacred space within yourself.
Try another five minutes later on in the day, or the next day, or a few days after. Add to your notes if you're making any. Make the time longer if you want to, just by a minute or a few minutes, or more. Perhaps acknowledge this stepping into your inner nemeton in different ways, to experience what it feels like. For now, you are just experimenting... just playing with this new way of being to get a sense for yourself how it feels.
I will post regularly about this and related topics: I have had several indications that now is the right time, so there will be more. I'll give all such posts the 'inner nemeton' title so they are searchable. You can work personally with me on this if you want to - just make contact via the box top right. A facilitator is always helpful for inner work, but it's perfectly do-able without one. Or just get in touch to let me know how you're doing (how you're 'being'!) with it...
Every best wish and blessings to you on your sacred journey.
